“Past karmas lead us to a destiny which has to be fulfilled..Don’t even know the exact point where I died as old Abha and emerged as the pure, positive soul totally surrendered to ShreeNathji..”

Abha Shahra

I was born and continue to live in Mumbai, India. Graced with four lovely children, and despite being of the same world as you, I live my life today in total surrender to my BhagwanShreeNathji.
PrabhuShreeNathji’s kripa is all around me. By the age of 50, as they’ve lived major part of their lives most of the people get depressed about old age; future may seem like a no growth period. The reality of loneliness can cause havoc in minds.

With the Divine showering His blessings on me, I think the opposite.
I look forward to this stage in my life as being the most fulfilling, blissful and exciting period of my life. This stage of life till I leave my body should be the most spiritually rewarding.
What normally the whole of mankind is running after is available to me and I believe I can transcend this human reality (as Abha Shahra) and reach for the highest in soul and energy levels.

It is not in ego, but in the truth that I believe; ‘it has to be some very great sattvik karmas of my past lives, because of which I have been selected by “Thakurjee”, Himself, for this experience of Divine Love and Spiritual devotions and bliss’.
I believe myself to be a mediator for some higher spiritual truths and mysteries, which have to unfold in this world of ours. The Divine is very alive around us and the distance experienced is only from our side.

“Very, very rare selected Vaishnavas are allowed to enter that realm where you have been invited”. I am gently reminded often. often.

With time I understood how to live in this world totally and yet be a witness to all.
‘Renunciation is only of expectations, actions have to be performed to the best and together with the results offered at the feet of the Divine’.
Those moments as the divine blessings penetrated my clouded mind and touched the core of my being, it felt as if consciousness was performing an abhishek on this Tan, Man and Atma; (mind,body,soul) and since has been clearing and purifying me of all past sanskars deeply embedded in the Antaratma; in my journey of birth and re birth.

It was a karmic and soul cleansing, which helped create the deepest of positive changes.
“Do not forget the real purpose of your life”, is what Gurushree encouraged me to follow; “This will be the best period where the truth and reality unfolds before you. The ‘Mayic’ world is nothing before all the elevated experiences; once you’ve tasted the ‘nectar’ (God’s love), the other flavours lose their attractions. One in millions is able to pass through all tests and cross the mayic hurdles. Don’t give up your search for truth and God. Stay on the path with determination; soon you will be rewarded with the experience of ‘ShreeNathji’ (God).

With time as negative karmas were cut off and positive ness filled in, I understood it was for this divine connection that my soul yearned for. As I entered deeper within, the Shanti-Peace and the Anand-Joy increased and I felt a divine sense of happiness and satisfaction.

In this journey of purification came a change of awareness and perceptions in which I had to ask God,

“Am I going mad, or is ‘this’ world insane”
The experiences are so out of our normal regular routine life.

My connection to VrajMandal:

I am fortunate enough to travel often to VrajMandal (The land of Divinity) and love being at ShriGovardhan and Vrindavan. I feel deep anand and bliss here at VrajMandal; the vibrancy and magnetism of Vrindavan is unimaginable.
Vraj is the place where I belong and is my real home… My soul finds peace and unlimited joy in this divine land of ShreeNathji, Shree RadhaKrishn.

My connection to VrajMandal is most authentically described from one of my first recollections in my personal journal:
My first visit to Vraj after my diksha was in June 2005. Again similar to the Nathdwarayatras, disclipine and purity in all aspects of living are to followed completely.
For ‘The Presence’ to be experienced the atmosphere of purity and our bhao is very essential. When in the pure sanigdh (company) of a Sadhya guru who is a part of the Divine Himself , also known as the divya guru, the strong pure aura which surrounds him also has the capacity and strength to cover the humans around him in the particular area. This at times can open their soul to some divine experiences. It is his soul quality which connects the particular soul to the divya (divine) soul and graces it some divya anubhuties (divine experiences).

This was the yatra when ShreeNathji Appeared from His Mukharwind at ShriGovardhan and gave us sakshat (direct) darshans in His ‘Lalan’ (child) swarup. This was as per Gurushree’s request, and also thatShreeNathji let us take His photos as He Appeared from His Mukharwind for proof of His Presence. The vibrations and emotions of that extarordinary hour are fresh in my heart and mind.

The other anubhuti that stands out from several others is how ShreeNathji commanded us to do the ‘Jirnodhar’ of His ;Charan’mandir at Banshi Vat, which is the place of the famous divyaMaharaas of Shree RadhaKrishn.

From my personal journal..
..Purity of the whole pujan and the connected vision clears many things; such moments of pujan become memorable, I call them soul presence, as there is nothing of the mind and body present at the time of darshans; it is ourselves, as the true beings in the original identities. It can only be experienced, not explained.
During the divine pujan, as I put sindoor and tilak in Shree RadhaKrishnmandir, the eternal question, WHO AM I is in my mind; and such intensity and Bhao I have never experienced before, such total acceptance of me as myself; as the truth about my identity.